Saturday’s Saying

Happy Saturday, everybody!

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How did this week treat you? Does anybody have any exciting plans for this weekend? If so, tell me all about them in the comment section below – I love to read your thoughts! As for me? The week was super productive – I’ve knocked more off of my to-do list in the past 6 days than I thought was possible! I’m really looking forward to the weekend – I’ll be hitting the gym as per usual with my fiancé after today’s shift, revelling in some much needed downtime on the couch, catching up on sleep, and running some errands. Low key, just the way I like it!

But, I digress. It’s Saturday, and that means it’s time for another round of Saturday’s Saying. This week’s quote comes to us from Arnold H. Glasow, a oft-quoted American humorist who had a prolific career publishing jokes and comics, which spanned over sixty years until his death in 1998. It’s been one of my favourites for years, so without further ado:

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I chose this quote for today because it is truly the most accurate representation of how I feel about my recent successes, and it is the modus operandi by which I motivate myself on those days when everything seems impossible and I get in my own way. You see, we’re all raised to be terrified of failing (especially us Gen Y kids – it’s a really interesting topic of study, and I highly recommend giving this article a read!), and I think that it is a disservice to ourselves. Motivators for major positive change in our lives are often deeply rooted in the fear or disdain of the things which we consider unacceptable, unfair, or otherwise unsavoury; therefore, being paralysed by these fears, these “fires,” is counter-productive and leads to selling ourselves short. If I’ve learned anything in the last few year of my life, it is that sometimes, it’s better to let the fire burn instead of extinguishing it right away. To that effect, let’s explore a few of these instances from my personal anthology of previous experience, shall we?

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When I was 19 and vapid impetuous, I made the rash decision to loan my ex-boyfriend $1200, which (at the time) was a huge amount of money (let’s just say that I was a university student with 3 jobs – every penny was accounted for before I’d even have my paycheques in hand). To add to this silly course of action, I pulled the funds off of my credit card (under the pretense that I would be repaid within a few weeks) and for a few days, felt awesome about helping him avoid a terrible scenario – creditors were after him and just about to repossess his vehicle, and it was a relief to know that in a rather sizeable way, I had done some good for him. Well, long story cut short, we’ve been separated for well over three years now, I’ve yet to see a penny of that money repaid, and I likely never will. I’ve since made peace with that; however, life went on (as it does), and that mistake became compounded with another four years of ignoring my financial well-being. Without even knowing it, that succession of oversight (and circumstance) on my part led to kindling a slow burning fire deep in my soul.

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When I started working here at Slegg in January, I was quickly forced to face my long-hidden financial scarlet letter. Hyperbolic? perhaps from the outside looking in; however, I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit to the sleepless nights, the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I used my debit card (even if I knew the funds were in my account, the few seconds between keying in my PIN code and seeing “accepted” on the screen nearly gave me a heart attack for the longest time), the unnecessary stress, the unshakable feeling that I was a complete moron. Every single one of those negative, brutal feelings were traceable back to the fact that I had messed up my credit as a teenager, had 4 years of taxes owing, and felt too incapacitated to do anything about it.

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And this is where I have to thank Dan for providing me with the spark of hope I needed in order to turn that negativity into a blazing fire. When I was filling out my new-hire paperwork, I realized that a) I had to provide my tax information from 2012 (which I didn’t have, as I hadn’t filed since 2008. Don’t be like me – it is expensive to pay a tax accountant to do 4 years of back filing for you!), and b) I had to run my own credit bureau in order to be cleared by Equifax to do the same for our mortgage applicants (which made me want to cry, because I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty). At first, I wanted to walk out the door. I honestly considered thanking them for the opportunity and calling it quits right then and there…but then, I found a little bit of courage, and I sat in Dan’s office to own up to my situation. At first, I was mortified..and then, we started figuring out exactly what my situation was – it’s pretty hard to solve a problem when you aren’t sure what the scope of things are. So, we started with my Equifax report, and you know what? it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be. After that was determined, we discussed my options for re-establishing my credit – and within a week, I’d been approved for an unsecured Mastercard through Capital One. As far as my taxes are concerned, yes – it was expensive to get them filed, and yes, I felt like an idiot for having let them lapse as much as I did; however, as of yesterday, I have completely cleared myself with the CRA and can expect a few rather large returns in the mail in the next few weeks. 

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I let that kindling burn into something hot, something powerful, and I have come to a major success – for the first time in my adult life, I am taking responsibility for (and giving importance to!) my financial health. No spontaneous combustion (in this case, allowing the situation to continue to simmer until the CRA decided to audit me, or I couldn’t qualify for a mortgage, or any other of the thousands of ways my imminent financial self-destruction) would have led me to success; rather, I had to use the fear as fire, and it did indeed lead to a MASSIVE personal victory. Next to no true triumph just happens – success is an action, not an outcome.

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When I really think about it, every single good thing that’s come to pass in my life has been the direct result of “setting myself on fire,” stepping outside of my comfort zone and making things happen instead of waiting for the universe to align and do all the work for me. The linchpin of it all for me has been learning to accept and embrace these “fires” instead of falling victim to my knee-jerk reaction; that is, to fear the fire and retreat into uncertainty, doubt, and inactivity. Since facing my financial fears head-on earlier this year, I’ve made a conscious effort to apply that same strategy to the entirety of the rest of my life, and I have never been happier, healthier, or more productive; financially, professionally, and personally. 

Lyrics from Radiohead’s “Fitter Happier” (OK Computer, 1997); Photo Credit: konton-kyoudai.deviantart.com

Moving forward in my life, I have made a pact with myself to put the proverbial fire extinguisher away and continue to become more comfortable with my recent paradigm shift; that is, allowing the blaze to illuminate my path instead of terrify me into inactivity. Naturally, I can’t turn my emotions off (ah, the perils of being human); however, I’ve already seen the positive effects of facing my finances head on spilling over into other facets of my life. Take my health, for example. I’ve had my fair share of failed/unsustainable attempts at reaching peak fitness – and finally, I’ve found that I do, in fact, have the discipline, strength, and desire in me to be that person that actually goes to the gym three times a week, lifts her body weight for twelve reps (aside: there is no feeling in the world like breaking your own personal deadlift record!), eats a healthy amount of high quality food, and sees measurable results. The secret is allowing that fire to consume you – regardless of the goal, you have to be willing to be devoured by it, to dedicate yourself to it, and to shun your fear by replacing it with passion. Allow your inhibition to empower you, and amaze yourself – every single person I know (including my heroes and mentors) has areas of their lives which need improvement; things that they fear and don’t bother to face out of embarrassment or trepidation – and therein lies my challenge to you, readers. I dare you to face your fears! Start NOW and don’t look back. I promise you, it will be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself.

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In closing, I’d like to refer to The Litany of Fear from Frank Herbert’s Dune. In the novel, The Litany Against Fear was an incantation spoken by many highly educated people who faced danger or fear during their everyday lives; helping them to focus their minds in times of peril. I believe in the power of a personal mantra in times of personal difficulty, and I hope that for those of you who are brave enough to take my dare and face their fears, this will bring you as much comfort as it has brought (and continues to bring) me when faced with uncertainty. It goes:

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I asked you last week what you were going to do today that your future self would be grateful for; today, I’d like to take that question one step further and ask you this:

What is your greatest fear, and how are you setting fire to it in order to better yourself?

I look forward to reading your replies!

For now, readers, it is time for me to wrap this up –  I’ve a couple more things on my plate before the weekend begins.

Have a fantastic Saturday, everyone!

-Mel